Commentary

* Mary Atkins, a cousin, stayed with Mama a considerable time and probably took advantage of Mama’s generosity. Franklin is not too far from Courtland, Southampton County.

**Spring 1979, I began the second semester of my graduate program. In my first two years I was a graduate assistant to Dr. John Howard, who during this period was temporary chair of the English Department. He was very kind and helpful. I was the only black male in the department and it was my first time to be so continuously in the company of whites.

I edited the departmental newsletter, managed the departmental library, and did some research for the chair in the graduate library. I chose this work rather than teaching. From a child I was shy and a bit stand-offish, partially because I had a slight stutter. I decided, however, at the end of my second year to face my demon. I faced it boldly and if I did not conquer it, I set it on its heels. When I began the graduate program I had no idea what I would do with the degree or what profession I would follow with the completion of the program. Teaching writing and literature I saw, at the end of two years of graduate work, as a possibility and means for me to find work after graduation. So I ceased the opportunity and became a teaching assistant under Dr. Eugene Hammond, who then headed the undergraduate writing program. I did well.

***I have never been very extravagant in my clothes. My dress has usually been casual. I have never had more than two suits at a time and I rarely wear a tie. I have had no more than one pair of dress shoes at a time and often my clothes were hand-me-downs. In this aspect I was much like Daddy. It is indeed strange that I tried to be so different than he and ended up being more like him than I had planned. But Mama would have preferred me otherwise. She believed I did not take advantage of the beauty God had given me and that I too often dressed down and did not put on my best face. It is a strange ethic indeed that I followed, wanting others to appreciate the inner man more than the mask I might don. That the bloom of my youth is about to fade, I wonder sometimes whether I should have heeded her advice. Whether it would have altered my destiny for the better is an uncertain matter.