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Belief,
DisBelief & Back
What Faith Got to Do With It?
By Rudolph Lewis I grew up in a religious community called
Jerusalem. Then it was still a Virginia of poor farmers and
sharecroppers in the southern piney woods of the western
Tidewater, not far from the Carolina border. During the late 30s
to the late 50s, the era of Reverend Ruffin, religionists came
from Richmond, the Carolinas, Baltimore and Philly, to hear our
Black Jesus preach. During Ruffin’s era of ecclesiastical
prosperity, the family church boasted three hundred members.
Freedmen laid the foundation in 1870 for this house of worship
with its white wood clapboards and a steeple bell to call to the
faithful.
When I was baptized in 1960, we didn’t go
to the river, the nearby Nottoway (or the creek or Sansi Swamp
or a lake), but a white-washed concrete pool in the yard filled
with clear water hand-pumped from a nearby well. During baptism,
one walked up steps and then down into the water where dressed
in white the preacher and his assisting deacon turned you about
and immersed and held you in the water while you held your
breath and they speaking words about Father, the Son, and the
Holy Ghost. And you filled with faith in the balance they would
not drown you, as you wondered whether you really understood.
One rose (brought up) dripping with water and
out of breath in the sunshine and the warm air and the Sunday
hat dressed neighbors looking on to see whether any would shout
or a dove land on the shoulder of that child God favored. These
were ethical men and women, with the foibles of all humanity,
common sense, superstitions, and magic more common than public
education. In hard sickness when drugstores and MDs won’t do
even doctrine gives way to a visit to root doctor Jim Jordan of
North Carolina.
These people were birthed in and found
themselves in an unethical world, an isolated community of dirt
roads and swamps, fields of cotton, peanuts, corn, and tobacco,
mostly belonging to other people. And sawmills, where Uncle
Billy lost fingers in bloody steel-toothed blades. These people
of the rough hands and strong backs and flat feet and souls as
deep and winding as the muddy Nottoway worked a half day
Saturday, milling uneasy for their pay. After a week’s
drudgery many were ready for a juke joint grinding time, or
whiling away in one's own garden.
This was black peasant culture in
transition—both mule and wagon and a dark red Massey-Ferguson
in the barnyard. Many lived on the land of large white estates,
many owned medium-sized plots from ten to seventy acres, and a
few with hundreds of acres. There were a few craftsmen, and a
few who worked at the local industrial plant. These were all the
people of Jerusalem, black Christians worshipping to sustain
community.
The religion of these people preceded the
laying of Jerusalem’s foundation. Inherited from a father or a
grandmother, steeped in God’s grace and challenge long before
Abe made it on the scene, with his throbbing religion of
national guilt. Kinship is established in blood and tradition.
The theological aesthetics of our Christian ancestors was
captured by the early 1830s, in the era of Thoreau and Turner,
in fighting songs, like “I’m A Soldier in the Army of the
Lord” or “Walking in Jerusalem Just like John” and
“Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.”
They were a people always moving, if only in
their souls and spirit, carrying the yoke up hill, in their
marriage of symbol and reality. Their way of life was probably
neither doctrinal nor scriptural, but their religion was
serviceable, as well as radical. It was only yesterday that the
nights were long in the cricket symphony darkness of purple
pines and red oaks and white birch. After the sun-go-down roving
Patty Rollers, and bloodhounds. The soul is like forest deer
during hunting season. The spirit flies with eagles, soaring.
George Graves, maternal great grandfather,
was a deacon at Jerusalem, before he died in the 30s in his 90s.
He was a landowner, with twenty-five acres, a widower who never
remarried, but at sixty he made two sons with a much younger
Mary whom he feared to marry, maybe with good cause. George was
a teenager (a slave) when Lincoln issued his EP. That he was a
“mulatto” probably had little to do with George’s clerical
status or his landownership. He was a smart man, a reader and
writer. The leading families of Jerusalem, e.g., the Masons and
the Massenbergs, all had a white ancestor, often not spoken of
in public. Black respectability has its demands, too.
People will talk, especially good Christian
people, into their palms, whispering vibrating ears with
ridicule. When I was eleven, several families intrigued and
deposed the popular Reverend General A. Ruffin, one of the blackest men I’ve
known to possess the fire of the Holy Spirit, a preacher who
could rival C.L. Franklin of Detroit in the classic Negro sermon
style. Ruffin was voted out one Saturday in 1959 for sexual
improprieties. He wasn’t just eating fried chicken, they
defamed. I missed by a year being baptized by this man of God
who sweated vigorously when God appeared in his black robe of
red trim. The Carolina preacher John Boone, who followed, had
that honor.
Bible stories, theological discussions, and
prayer sessions at home were socializing and instructive but
rather repressive of youthful enthusiasms on both religious and
racial grounds. The ideals that the saints proclaimed were
seldom the reality lived in those harsh days of rural
poverty—no indoor plumbing, telephone, and electricity, so no
tv, vcr, or computers, maybe, if blessed, a spring operated 78
rpm Victrola. Nothing remains in the dark, though hushed. The
compromises, we make. Every waking moment challenges integrity
and dignity. Body
and soul heavier than mud when the sun go down.
In those days people didn’t need much
preaching, once a month was more than sufficient. More men set
at the head of the supper table, then. Far from urban centers in
the wooded wilderness of the swampy Tidewater of Nathaniel
Turner, men and women were closer to God. One experienced his
miracle in a cool breeze on a suffocating humid day. One saw his
spirit whispering in a grove of pines. When death passed your
door, undeservedly.
One’s humanity was recovered more fully in
those August days of weekly revivals, in those prayer sessions
and testifying moments when the church was people proclaiming
unprompted the visit of the Lord’s mercy and grace and healing
and the unexpected financial relief in a letter from a Northern
relative, an aunt or a sister, a brother or uncle. On these
nights they word stones landed on the head of Satan, for
goodness sake. Their victories ranged mountains over the three
dollars a day for fieldwork in the 50s — chopping, shaking,
picking, crapping — in a blazing sweating sun in a clear
blue sky. As a schoolboy, it was rare I worked in a big
farmer’s fields.
“They say preachers don’t steal / but I
found one in my corn field” was a rhyme that I picked up,
maybe, on the basketball court, an insurgent retreat for teenage
60s culture. A few guys down in the bottom shooting crap and
drinking wine on Sunday for in such scenes boys wear the mask of
men and sexual exploration and other realities the religious
only allude to in Sunday School, pulpit sermons, or during the
symbolically grim bread-and-wine. Like the boasts of “backdoor
men.”
So these Christian slaves and their children
(my grandparents) laid conscientiously the foundation for my
religious sensibility. I just did not care for Reverend Boone,
the Carolina preacher who replaced Reverend Ruffin. Boone’s
demeanor was filled with toothy grins, rough edged humor,
insufficient gravity and imagination. Under Boone’s regime men
were less particular in their duties, money from building
projects found its way in undeserving coffers.
August 1958 Daddy brought home a 21-inch
Zenith TV, brand new, and the world was never the same after
that. There in that box of the bizarre I discovered varieties of
religious expression. Oral Roberts was then the TV preacher with
the healing touch for willing believers. I was amazed but deep
down I felt it was trickery, a deception, no Jesus turning water
into wine or raising the dead, or feeding the thousands. By the
age of twelve I was keenly familiar with the arts of deception
and hypocrisy, ubiquitous as love and generosity, if not more
so.
Maybe I saw King on tv, I think not, all of
that militant heat was far from the daily hum drum trials of
Jerusalem, it seemed. Hog killing. Storing peanut vines in the
barn. Mule stable cleaning. Broadcasting manure. Riding the back
roads to a juke joint in Emporia. Doing the Georgia Grind in the
shadows. Fumbling, sweating in the dark.
Most of the black Christians I knew, of my
age especially the males, left the church not long after
baptism. Church-going becomes less and less until finally
churches are not entered unless there is a wedding or a funeral
or at times of extreme depression. I too followed such a path
after I left Jerusalem at sixteen for Morgan State College in
Baltimore. What an abrupt change in perception, style, as well
as place. They called such fellows as I then, “country.”
In B’more (as Negroes dab it) there were
politics and class and family names of which I was totally
ignorant. Except for Little Willie Adams, rumored kingpin of
Black Numbers, my family here (mother, stepfather, and my three
younger sisters) were not intimate with the makers and shakers
of Black Baltimore. The first to graduate from high school in my
family my appearance at Morgan was breaking virgin land. I was a
pioneer in the world of collegiate scholarship, a world set
apart from my biblical view of history.
Here in this semi-segregated urban landscape
of the mid-60s I discovered Baldwin and Wright and Benjamin
Quarles. Go Tell It on the Mountain reaffirmed my early
religious rebellious questions; Wright’s exposure of Southern
fear and terror explained black rage nights of prayer and
anguish; and Quarles reaffirmations of Negro contributions to
the making of America broaden the landscape of black concerted
struggle.
Religion was superstition. Darwin was
established fact, evolution challenged revelation; the roundness
of the earth and its rotation explained mathematically, Joshua
shoved aside. The Constitution and the Declaration of
Independence guaranteed me the rights of a citizen though
governments failed in their obligation to sustain them. But all
would right itself in God’s Time—prayers sustain, and
miracles be possible. It was a Brunswick stew, a muddle.
The free African had come of age in America
(1960s), conscious hands reaching out, comfortable with his
place in the world. That was all I knew and all I needed to
know. posted 10 February 2005 |