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Prologue
Entry
from Unis’ diary
New
York
Winter 1992
This week has been very interesting.
Since the healer removed the evil from my body I feel much
better… was so scared…almost lost my cool. The
creature lay there not moving. Sitting on the chair
looking down at its inert body I pulled my feet up off of the
floor to tuck them underneath my bottom. I was
afraid it was going to enter my body again, but did not look at
it for long.
Shaking all over I listened to the
instructions the healer gave to me still in a daze from what had
just occurred. It was like a scene from a weird
horror, or science fiction movie. Before returning to her
for ‘the cleansing’ I had followed the instructions she gave
me from our first meeting and started to feel this strange pain
in my lower abdomen but because my monthly period was on,
thought it was the just a case of very bad cramps.
Then I realized my periods had been painful and strange for the
last 3 months…still having these strange periods with huge
clots and heavy bleeding. With this one came the fainting
spells.
…Cannot believe this creature has been
growing inside of my womb for such a long time. I have
known a pain and anguish in my being which is almost
indescribable. Thanks to the power of my Buddhist practice
protecting me things will work out for the best. My
practice will guide me towards the light and protect me.
The healer said that those people who tried to hurt me will try
again but will not succeed as long as there is a strong, deep
faith in my higher power and in her powers to heal and cleanse.
I do have faith. She saw trauma in my aura; she told me my
psyche had been traumatized repeatedly over the years causing me
to move between two existences in order to survive. “You
created them, (the two existences) in order to survive” she
said “one lives in light, the other lives in shadow.”
This fight to save my life has been going on
for a long time…knew something was wrong but did not know what
it was…am not going to run anymore. Tired. I have
to be aware of people now more than ever because you just never
know what they are up to I am not going to suffer anymore.
It seemed like whenever 2 steps were taken in
a forward direction 3 were taken backwards in the same breath
and in the same stride. It has been very frustrating.
Now I understand it all. I, Ms. Unis MontClaire, must be
very powerful for these people to want to harm me in this way.
There is a great mission ahead, which they did not want me to
accomplish: a mission for my human revolution and my
self-actualization. My next step is not going to be easy
but the work must be done. I made my reservations
with BWIA (British West Indian Airlines) and will be leaving in
the next couple of months. It is time to return home to
correct my illegal status in this country.
Finally came to the realization this journey
was made not only for me but for my mother as well. For
many years I felt lost and alone not knowing where to go or from
whence I came. Acknowledging my history there is no hope
for figuring out the future. I, Ms. Unis MontClaire, am in
charge of my own destiny, my own karma. I pledge to take
charge of my life by making positive choices from now on in
order to create a legacy of good health (on all levels)
prosperity, security and stability for my children and
grandchildren.
Now I understand why. My readings of
West Indian literature and West Indian history have given me the
answer. This new understanding of my restlessness allows
me to acknowledge a sense of displacement, which many West
Indian Negro writers feel is a result of our colonization by the
British. Finally my travels have bought me to a place of
peace and centeredness: a place where I can begin to sort
through the files of my life, of my ancestors and of my legacy;
my inheritance.
Many times I hear the sound of my name on the
wind and for many years wondered where it came from.
Finally I understand: it is from the other half of me, which
still remains a mystery. Source:
The Cleansing
by Cheryl Gittens-Jones |
