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Do Me Twice: My Life after Islam
A Memoir by
Sonsyrea Tate
Reviewed by Kam Williams
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The story I must tell in
order to be transformed is the story of my
coming out—out of Islam, out of my parents’
house, out of traditional choices, out of
conventional thinking—in
a way, out of my mind. . . . This is a story
I need to tell as much as the world suddenly
needs to know more about Muslim women behind
the veil. . . . I began questioning Islam by
the time I was twelve, and by the time I was
twenty-one I was sure Islam was not for me.
My transformation out of Islam coincided
with my coming of age as an African-American
woman, and the story of that transition is a
story I feel compelled to share. . . . I
need to tell the story that shows I’m no
forsaken sinner because I turned from Islam.
Thank God in America, so called apostates
aren’t executed or imprisoned as they are in
some Muslim countries. But for years I was
afraid Allah would reach down from heaven
and strike me dead for leaving Islam.—Excerpted
from the Introduction (pages 1-3)
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Until the age of 18, Sonsyrea “Ray-Ray” Tate was
essentially raised in the Nation of Islam, although the
Black Muslim sect would change its name and philosophy
several times over that time span. This could prove to
be very confusing for a child who first had it ingrained
in her head that all white people were devils, before
being taught that they’re not devils, and then, oops,
they are in fact devils after all. Her mandated clothing
and spiritual rituals also underwent revisions
intermittently, which might understandably take a toll
when one is expected to follow a flip-flopping path on
faith alone.
But apparently far more damaging than the dogma was the
hypocrisy young Ray-Ray witnessed in her family members
and others whose behavior bore little resemblance to
what was dictated by the Koran. For example, her father
got arrested, did drugs and wasn’t much of a provider.
Furthermore, he failed to protect his daughter at a
critical stage in her development, instead allowing her
to date and ultimately marry an ex-con who had converted
to Islam behind bars.
There’s a saying, “The convert tends immediately to
revert,” and this is precisely what Sonsyrea discovered
in her louse of a spouse, Ronald Bates. Like a typical
teenage girl, against her better judgment, she initially
found herself attracted to this bad-boy who not only had
robbery and attempted murder on his rap sheet but
already had fathered a child with another woman.
The problem was that as a Muslim female, Ray-Ray had
been trained to be deferential, and that, at 18, she
ended up marrying this loser who didn’t even have a job.
And by the time she finally wised up and dumped him she
was also totally disillusioned with her religion. Making
a break from her hubby and everything familiar, Sonsyrea
struck out on her own, putting herself through college
and landing a job at the Washington Post.
Meanwhile, she simultaneously began acting out
rebelliously, smoking weed and indulging
indiscriminately in recreational sex, as if belatedly
making up for time frittered away under veils and long
dresses during the repressive days of her lost youth.
Ultimately, however, she did get her act together, and
is now happily remarried and the editor-in chief of the
Washington Informer.
This is the engaging arc of
Do Me Twice: My Life
after Islam, as revealing a memoir as you’re ever
going to get from a sister who’s abandoned the Nation of
Islam. What makes talented Ms. Tate’s warts-and-all
autobiography so riveting is that she’s both a gifted
writer and willing to be brutally honest in revisiting a
rough life marked by perhaps more downs than ups.
Whether discussing her doubts about Islam, her
resentment of Muslim women’s second-class status, losing
her virginity, getting high, visiting a male strip club,
having a lustful liaison with a stranger, being raped by
her first husband, visiting him in jail or learning that
his mistress is nine-months pregnant, the author is
always in touch with her feelings and unafraid to
recount her rawest emotions with the reader.
All the fixins for a poignant page-turner.
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Other Reviews
Sonsyrea Tate has shared mile marker thoughts along the
way to wholeness. In her new provocative book, Tate
challenges religion and relationships. She clears the
way to revolutionary, radical forgiveness, but most of
all, she forces us to rethink ideas we have taken for
granted. Her journey may not be yours, her conclusions
may not be your own, but her words and thoughts are well
worth your deepest contemplation. It is clear that she
is not a woman to be ignored!
—Bishop T.D. Jakes
Sr.
This book is Sonsyrea Tate's triumphant shout testifying
to a life filled with grace and courage. It is a
testimony for anyone who has to fashion her own life
from the legacy of burdens and encouragement handed down
by parents, by culture, by religion and by society. In
other words, this is a story about becoming fully human
and living life out loud -- on your own terms.
—Patrice Gaines, author
of Laughing in the Dark
From the highly acclaimed author of Little X: Growing Up
in the Nation of Islam—a
taboo-breaking memoir about a Muslim girl who explores
her freedom through the expression of her sensuality and
sex, defying the cultural boundaries that denied her a
full life.
Do Me Twice is the triumphant life story of the
highly intelligent, courageous, and charismatic Sonsyrea
Tate as she breaks the cultural and religious molds set
in place by her upbringing. A former African-American
Muslim, Tate has raised awareness for that community by
bringing personal and enlightening answers to a curious
audience.
Who are
African-American Muslims? What do they stand for and
why? How far-reaching are their lifestyle choices? With
the global focus on terrorism and interest in the
Islamic state, readers are hungry for answers that
aren't influenced by government spin or newscast
ratings. They will find those answers here.
Do Me Twice inspires young women while exploring
Tate's conscious separation from Islam, her abusive
husband, and the prejudices and stereotypes set on her
by others' misconceptions.
—Publisher
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* * * posted 28 August 2007 |
