DN1

Dreams & Sex

New Year's morning, 1960

I had a dream tonight, sleeping in the chair by the fire until the heat of the room put a pain in my lungs and when I breathed there was a knife between my shoulder blades. It was about a woman who wanted me and she took and put my thing into her and we lay there with another in the room with us, but tending to his own business. And I realized after I had awaken what a powerful force sex is, I having foresworn women when I came into this house. There was no orgasm--just a feeling of deep peace. 

And I learned later that the woman--I know not whom she was--was planning along with some of my relations to take a distant trip and not wanting to lose her for so long a time, I took a long walk, having put on the shirt that was parting at the collar seams, I continually fumbled with the unruly collar as I walked among strangers and in a strange part of the city. 

Finally, in my walk I came to a resolution and going back to this woman, I told her that when she took her trip, and not having let me in on the plans before, it would be the final wedge entered between her and me, and that henceforth we should be one and one and not two as we had been formerly.

So I awoke, thinking what a wonderful thing is a woman who is soft and kind and understanding. That she is the final and ultimate link between God and man and the cosmos and the hereafter. That such a woman is both a sister and seer and warm spouse at whose love light a man lights the candle of his soul to carry with him through the darkness and death.

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