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DN26
Fever of Love &
Cry
the Beloved Country
January
1, 1960
This
is done on New Year's morning and I am a half-hour late starting
for the route -- 1960. The fire has been turned out since three
and the room is now cold:
Laying
there stretched full length in the chair, I began to think of a
poem in biblical fashion, a thing told as the olden one told
their tales; told with a fervor and soft labor that follows one
like the insistent scent of a perfume that will not dissolve in
air, clinging to one like a comfortable garment of special make
and texture, fashioned for his soul's delight.
And
so I began to type this thing in the same manner as in which the
poet must have penned Cry the Beloved Country:
And
the man came to the woman and said, "Solace me for I am
heated of body and distracted and uncomfortable. The fever of
love is upon me."
And
the woman said, "Solace you, indeed, and why should I do
such a thing for the likes of thee?"
And
the man said, "Because I am a man and feels as a man
feeleth overmuch at times, and because you are a woman and
having that which is a woman's, you should have answer in your
heart for one man who is like me, and take heed unto his needs,
for it is not meet in a land of many women that a man should go
around hungering for a woman's soft flesh."
And
the woman answered, "Go to, I do not like you, so why
should I trouble myself with thee? There are others in this
place, why have you not tried elsewhere, where there is a woman
more in mind of such things?"
And
the man answered, "But I saw you and my heart went out to
you, and I became sore and weary with a great pain in my soul
and I would make sweetness with thee and have you make sweetness
with me."
And
the woman looking at the man a second time, and feeling
something within her woman's soul, dropped her eyes, lest the
man should see that which leaped up in her heart, and her cheeks
blushed furiously, for she had never felt before in this way for
this man as she looked upon him, and deep within herself she was
sore troubled, being at first angry at him, she was now angry
with herself for having been disturbed by his advances.
And
the man, seeing the woman veiled eyes and deep blush, became
importunate and began to talk more earnestly and the timbre of
his low voice and the heat of his desire began to communicate
itself to the woman.
Whereupon
the man, boldly advancing, like a hunter who has caught sight of
his quarry, began to plead even more earnestly with the woman
who stood now disturbed before him. She desired to flee what was
arising within her and yet remained rooted, her fair shapely
feet making marks upon the hot, dry earth and her eyes burning
into it.
"When
I first saw thee, I longed for thee," said the man, "not
as a great man hoping to scale a mountain, not as a great sailor
burning to span an ocean, but as a diffident one gazing upon the
star of his dreams, daring not touch it. And holding myself from
thee, increased my thirst for thee, hearing thy sweet voice echo
through all my being, increased my ardor and the hunger rose
within me tenfold and I determined that I would have solace of
thee though I should die no sooner than we became one."
And
the woman standing before him, blushing more than ever and now
tongue-tied, tried to say something but her heart was not in her
speech nor her mind in what she said, being so disturbed and
confused. She made motion to say words, but only smiled and
stammered and hesitated and then grew silent and inscrutable.
And
the man placed his hands upon the woman's shoulders and she
shrank smaller and would have crept into the circle of his arms,
but with her head held low, she could see that the lower part of
his body moved nearer to hers and was now upon her, and his left
hand slid down her back and encompass her in the crook of his
arm; his strong right hand reached for her body and his long,
lean fingers began to tease at the nipple of her breast and she
was filled with longing and desire for him.
And
the man said, "Will you not solace me? Let the sweet
benison of thy mercy flow out and give me peace, for I am sore
hungered of you that I would eat and drink of you forever. Come,
and give me solace, and let me give you solace, and let us
solace ourselves together."
And
his left arm crooked closer about the woman, forcing her to him,
and his right hand began to bruise her nipple until she moaned
into his ear and bit her lips hard to keep back her agreement,
and her eyes looked up into his, intent, questioning,
half-frightened, resigned and half-daring, and her right breast
pressed sharply and insistently into his chest, and though the
word of agreement would not come, her head began to nod slowly
as she gazed up into his eyes, and lifted her face unto his.
And
the man now wrapped his strong right arm about her and pressed
her against his body so hard that she could scarcely draw
breath; her head fell back in abandonment and her long hair
streamed in the soft, caressing air; the man's strong face came
down to hers like something floating, swimming out of dreams,
and he kissed her soft full mouth bruisingly and hurtfully, but she did not flinch and their
bodies became light.
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