Picture Past

By Jeremiah Mickens

The tree stood like oak. In blood it's roots they soaked Branches bent from

weight. Onlookers looked and laughed with hate. The smell of death they didn't fear

And for each that hung I shed a tear. Necks of rose and sheets of holes. Once simple men

now free souls. A healthy fellow without a mask to cover his grin. Looked and was

pleased with his sin. It was a party and the four guests of honor hung around.

I stirred with awe there was no sound. This might have been a picture of the past. What

if of the present I dare not ask. Vision swam deeper and examined this more and I knew

what was in store. Tales were told of rougher days of men called boys and runaway slaves.

Of graves that danced on air of people who didn't care. A thing that was common. Nowhere

near rare. Tears leaked through blood red eyes. I only wished the picture tell lies.

But so bold was the word fact written on a picture so, so black. Dark and grim was

this sight. Yet the ghost knew they were right. My heart crumbled with agony. So

many pale ones with sight yet they cannot see. Dogs, Damn you all!! Revenge! I felt

so small. All these enemies gave my brothers fate. A heart of love refused to hate.

Picture past and present too. I'll never forget you. I'll always remember the fires

that burned. And the lumps in my stomach began to turn. The thousand ifs that raced

through my head. The conversations wanted with the dead. Death swung through the night.

Hyenas with fire bright. My brother look within because you might have been one

of these boys that were called men. A murder a tree was forced to commit. Lungs

four ropes had to split. And I'd like to see these heartless men. Too perfect a picture

in reality. It began to get the best of me. I climbed repeatedly to the top of sorrow.

Hoping I'd forget tomorrow. These corpse and laughter of blood. Which dripped

into puddles of mud. I tore it up and was rid of it fast.

Praying my child would never ask me about picture past.

*   *   *   *   *

I was raised in Baltimore, Maryland. I attended Rognel Heights, Harlem Park, and Liberty elementary schools. My family traveled to California when I was in the fourth or fifth grade.

As we traveled my mother taught us in the motor home that lived in. It was my stepfather, mother, and three sisters. On the way to California we stopped briefly and lived in a house in Phoenix, Arizona. When we finally arrived in Los Angeles it was almost six months later. We stayed in our motor home and lived partly in a house and partly in the motor home of a family friend. We stayed there a year. I attended Charles drew Elementary. My mother taught me at home for a long time because when I went back to school I was in the eighth grade.

I graduated from Charles drew, Jr. High. Somehow we ended up in Malibu, California. the lifestyle was completely different from Compton and East LA. Here we again stayed partly in a house and partly in a trailer. The part of Malibu we lived in was known as Point Dume. There I would ride the horse down to the beach daily. When Angel [the horse] would feel the sand under her feet she would take-off running.

I also began to lift weights and jog from Point Dume to Trancas. I attended Samo High in Santa Monica, California. I stayed there for two years partying and having a good time. It was my second year at Samo that I began to enjoy acting in my second play Nicholas Nickleby. I played three characters -- Pluck, Curdle, and Belling. It was acting that began to give me the focus I needed on education.

The focus was just in time because we moved again. this time we moved to Venice, California. I attended Venice High School. In Venice I became a member of the Venice High School Thespians. I acted in independent films, school plays, and tributes by Beverly Hills West Chapter LINKS.

My grades were not up to par so I was not allowed to act in any plays. My focus for school became even sharper. After school I would play football and basketball, avoiding hanging out with the many gangs that wanted to jump me in. I was focus mentally. I knew what I wanted to do. I was determined to do, be the best.

My mother changed that focus when she explained that we were moving back to Baltimore. I did not want to go. We came to California with a whole family of six. Now it was only a family of three. Soon it would be a family of none. We flew back to Baltimore.

In Baltimore I saw friends get shot. Many guns were pointed at me by robbers and police. I held the hands of the bleeding and dying. I cried on the shoulders of mothers and fathers. So many people I knew made it to the front page of the Baltimore Sun.

I ended up at Walbrook High School. I went through all of the graduation ceremonies but would not graduate from Walbrook. I graduated from Harbor City. I then went straight to Baltimore City Community College. After taking a break from college and cooking for five years in a Mexican restaurant in 1995 I married my high school sweetheart. We now have five children.

In 1996, I began to substitute in Baltimore City Public Schools. I started working in Companions extended Daycare in 1998. While there I attended college and graduated from Sojourner Douglass in 2000. I am now studying reading at Johns Hopkins University.

I have seen and been through a lot. But I never let go of my dream to be an actor, writer, teacher. One must have a dream. Hold onto it. Don't squeeze it too tight because it may slip away. Find the median and once you do you'll have the perfect grip. That's the time to hold on and don't let go, when it's good times or bad times. Just remember don't let go.