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Baring My Soul
By Stacey Tolbert
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Kool
Aid
When I was a bra-less,
fearless, tree-climbing girl-child, every other child I knew who
liked Kool-Aid always wanted the red Kool-Aid. It's not that we
didn't like the other flavors, its just that red was the best.
The one. The most sought after. The ultimate. When asked,
"What flavor?" no child ever actually named the
flavor, just the color. In our subliminal, we were giving it
personality. It was vibrant. Passionate. And let's not forget
sweet. The amount of sugar had to be just right, though.
Too much sugar, the amount
that makes your mouth pucker and lips smack and your taste buds
cringe, would ruin it.
Our mothers and
grandmothers and "aunties" knew exactly how to make
that red Kool-Aid; they taught us how to make it and it was
"good."
No one can deny the
strength, resilience and self-determination of Black Women.
It’s what makes us the BOMB and its what makes us the BALM.
I relate this
"essence" to the careful balance of ingredients in
that perfect batch of red Kool Aid.
However, somewhere between
ages 8 and 35, Black women lose the ability to make "good
red Kool-Aid." We add entirely too much "sugar"
to take away the bitterness in our lives to restore in us some
sense of what we come to lack, such as faith in a higher power,
assertiveness, the time and space to listen to our still small
voices and self-love, the love that makes us want to pamper
ourselves and enjoy the unique inner and outer beauty that we
were given. We try to sugar-coat reality with bad love choices,
misinformation about ourselves, stereotypes, promiscuity, and
allowing abuse to control and ultimately destroy our lives.
Over time, we actually
forget how to create that perfect balance of ingredients. We
forget what elements make for a happy, healthy existence. We
forget how to make the "good ole fashioned," sweet,
simple red Kool-Aid. We stop making life sweet and simple. We
stop making it. We stop. And our daughters and nieces grow up
wanting a mere skewed, bitter imitation of what used to be. It's
time to remember ladies (and gentlemen) to return to the basics.
To "refill" our cups with the good things that have
been taken away from us and replenish our empty vessels with
those once healthy things we've willingly given away. . . . Make
yourself stop, put your feet up and enjoy a mental glass of
Kool-Aid.
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updated 29 May 2008 |
