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Can you not recognize my pain covered by my smile?

At times I've loved you more that I've loved myself.

Never did I give my love to someone else while loving you.



Love Poems

 By Amendrius Elizabeth McRae


It's hard for you to accept the truth when you hold on to the past. You hurt because you allow yourself to love without eyes. Your strength is blanketed by your weakness.

Tomorrow can never embrace you if you continue to dwell on yesterday. It's easier for you to say you can't, while all along you're frightened by the fact that you can.

Not realizing that your life doesn't belong to you but to the ones you've given life.

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Look at tomorrow as an opportunity missed by yesterday, and  a day hoping to be seized by you.

If you look at yesterday as being yesterday, then you'll never know when tomorrow has come.

Open the door of tomorrow with the enthusiasm to fulfill your dreams.

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Strong men never forget about the weak man that comes to bring discouragement in their time of distress. 

He realizes that his help will not come from people who are quick to offer, but from himself, the one he can depend on most.

Like rain in the Sierra desert he needs encouragement, to replenish his dry soul.

He reaches into the depth of his heart and pulls out the nutrients of success that enable him to say I won't give up.

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My Life

I took a breath of life for the first time and knew I was myself.

Gazing into the eyes of another, I realized there was someone else.

I took my first steps not knowing where to go.

I said my first words not knowing what to say.

But I took one look at you and knew it was love.

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Still I Love You

I am hurting because of you. My heart has been dipped in the liquid of your pain.

I have let you pour your acid of hurt into my life.

But still I love you.

My tears have formed a river of their own,

But still I love you.

I remember the good days but never do I forget the bad.

You look at me and I see truth covered by lies.

But still I love you.

Can you not recognize my pain covered by my smile?

At times I've loved you more that I've loved myself.

Never did I give my love to someone else while loving you.

But can you see my pain?

My greatest fear is losing you, not just to someone else, but losing you completely.

My spirit is drawn to you like a magnet, releasing my soul to receive you.

But how can you fully complete me if you don't help me heal from your hurt.

Your mistakes have now become my mistakes.

But still I love you

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Just One Tear

A tear falls slowly down my face.

Your hand acts as a glove catching it before it hits the floor.

It burst in your palm emerging scenes from my life.

I smile but yet I cry out in pain. I offer happiness to everyone but myself. 

I live but inside I am dying. I am strong as steel but weak as a child.

I was asleep in darkness but though Christ I have awaken in his undeniable grace.

The water seeps between your fingers closing a wound that once was open. 

I look into your eyes and realize that every thought that one was a question,

you have just gave an answer.

Amendrius Elizabeth McRae was born to the proud parents Ricky and Emma L. McRae in Lumberton, North Carolina on November 19, 1980. She has one sibling Amanda J. McRae.  Currently she resides in Sanford, North Carolina with her family and her 7 year old son (Octavius Sincere Flack).  She attended Lee County Senior High School and Central Carolina Community College studying Early Childhood.  She is now in the process of going to school to become a First Grade Teacher. Her passion in life is writing and teaching children.

posted 20 February 2008

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#13 - The Black Male Handbook: A Blueprint for Life by Kevin Powell

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#17 - Brainwashed: Challenging the Myth of Black Inferiority by Tom Burrell

#18 - A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle

#19 - John Oliver Killens: A Life of Black Literary Activism by Keith Gilyard

#20 - Alain L. Locke: The Biography of a Philosopher by Leonard Harris

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Life on Mars

By Tracy K. Smith

Tracy K. Smith, author of Life on Mars has been selected as the winner of the 2012 Pulitzer Prize for Poetry. In its review of the book, Publishers Weekly noted the collection's "lyric brilliance" and "political impulses [that] never falter." A New York Times review stated, "Smith is quick to suggest that the important thing is not to discover whether or not we're alone in the universe; it's to accept—or at least endure—the universe's mystery. . . . Religion, science, art: we turn to them for answers, but the questions persist, especially in times of grief. Smith's pairing of the philosophically minded poems in the book’s first section with the long elegy for her father in the second is brilliant." Life on Mars follows Smith's 2007 collection, Duende, which won the James Laughlin Award from the Academy of American Poets, the only award for poetry in the United States given to support a poet's second book, and the first Essence Literary Award for poetry, which recognizes the literary achievements of African Americans.

The Body’s Question (2003) was her first published collection. Smith said Life on Mars, published by small Minnesota press Graywolf, was inspired in part by her father, who was an engineer on the Hubble space telescope and died in 2008.

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Salvage the Bones

A Novel by Jesmyn Ward

On one level, Salvage the Bones is a simple story about a poor black family that’s about to be trashed by one of the most deadly hurricanes in U.S. history. What makes the novel so powerful, though, is the way Ward winds private passions with that menace gathering force out in the Gulf of Mexico. Without a hint of pretension, in the simple lives of these poor people living among chickens and abandoned cars, she evokes the tenacious love and desperation of classical tragedy. The force that pushes back against Katrina’s inexorable winds is the voice of Ward’s narrator, a 14-year-old girl named Esch, the only daughter among four siblings. Precocious, passionate and sensitive, she speaks almost entirely in phrases soaked in her family’s raw land. Everything here is gritty, loamy and alive, as though the very soil were animated. Her brother’s “blood smells like wet hot earth after summer rain. . . . His scalp looks like fresh turned dirt.” Her father’s hands “are like gravel,” while her own hand “slides through his grip like a wet fish,” and a handsome boy’s “muscles jabbered like chickens.” Admittedly, Ward can push so hard on this simile-obsessed style that her paragraphs risk sounding like a compost heap, but this isn’t usually just metaphor for metaphor’s sake..—WashingtonPost

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The White Masters of the World

From The World and Africa, 1965

By W. E. B. Du Bois

W. E. B. Du Bois’ Arraignment and Indictment of White Civilization (Fletcher)

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Ancient African Nations

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The Death of Emmett Till by Bob Dylan  The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll  Only a Pawn in Their Game

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