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Marriage in Igbo
land
By Uche Nworah
The inspiration for this
piece came from my friend Emeka and his long-time
bride-in-waiting Ngozi (not their real names) who have been
planning to get married for some time now.
Emeka lives in the UK
and hasn’t been to Nigeria in a long while, and so he wanted
to find out from me how much weddings (traditional and white)
cost these days in Nigeria. Obviously he wanted me to share some
of my July 2005 experiences with him.
As a long time friend, I
obliged him and started by telling him that wedding costs will
vary amongst Nigeria’s many tribes, and that it was an
entirely different matter in Igbo land, a special case if you
like, being that Igbo native customs and traditions make
traditional weddings and the associated events seem like a
haggling affair in a typical Nkwo Nnewi motor parts shop.
The impression one
normally gets was that the bride-to-be was being sold, hence
many eligible brothers now walk down the aisle later than they
would have wished, as time is usually required for the brother
to get his act together, graduate from university (at the mercy
of striking lecturers), get a job (at the mercy of banks,
telecom and oil companies), build a house in the village
(depending on the part of Igbo land the brother is from, and
also on his socio-economic background).
Emeka however insisted
that I give him a rough estimate which I eventually obliged him.
On hearing this he screamed out aloud, I thought he was having a
heart attack. I however reassured him that he didn’t have to
spend that much, after all if those artisans, farmers and low
income earners in Nigeria can do it, then he too could since he
was living in the UK and acquiring the almighty pounds. I
reminded him that he shouldn’t forget the saying about people
cutting their coat according to their clothes (not their size)
when it comes to weddings.
We engaged each other in
a lengthy banter over the double standards in most Igbo towns
and villages, where it seems that different rules are applied in
marriage matters to potential suitors, one set of rules (the
flexible one) for
the home-based and another (the more expensive one) for the
akata suitor.
Emeka was troubled
because he and his bride-to-be are Igbo, he is neither a 419er
or a fraudster and earns his money the hard way doing you know
what in the UK, and so he just couldn’t understand why he
should spend all that money, (savings from months if not years
of sweat) in what he termed a ‘ritualistic wedding
ceremony’.
When he called me again
a few days later, I knew that trouble was brewing, and that
probably our conversations may have stirred up some troubles in
his household, or should I say his heart.
‘I think I know what
I’m gonna do’, Emeka said, in his fake Britico accent
‘What then’? I
enquired
‘I will simply go to
Nigeria, and meet my in-laws, if they won’t come down to my
level and accept me the way I am, then I will call the marriage
off’.
‘It’s not that
simple as you think, also the matter is beyond your in-laws, it
is an umunna (kindred) matter’.
‘To hell with umunna’,
he retorted. ‘I don’t care about them’
‘Anyway, take it
easy’, I cautioned. ‘I
understand your frustration but if you love your woman, you
can’t simply walk away because of the demands of tradition, no
matter how expensive they are. ‘And how does Ngozi feel about
this whole matter’? I enquired
‘She feels sad but
there is really nothing she can do. Anyway, we may just have to
postpone the wedding’ Emeka said.
‘That’s not a good
idea, anything can happen, you never know’ I pleaded.
‘But that is not to
say that I should pay through my nose because I want to marry’
he replied. ‘You live in this country and you know how hard
life here is’.
‘No one is forcing you
to marry’ I almost told him, but felt that he wouldn’t find
it funny.
‘Well, what more can I
say, pray about it’? I
finally advised him.
‘Unless my in-laws
will be willing to accept credit card for the dowry and other
expenses’.
When he said this, I
burst out laughing; he joined me in the laughter as well.
Afterwards, I told Emeka
what a brilliant idea it was and how it would actually make life
easier for brothers and sisters living abroad who are used to
the buy-now-pay-later arrangements, if potential in-laws can be
made to accept credit cards for dowry and other bridal expenses.
But at the same time, I knew that the idea will never fly in
Nigeria, why?
Many suitors and
potential sons-in-law may end up marrying people’s daughters
with fake or stolen credit cards, a situation that may lead to
the in-laws sending ‘repo’ men after them to repossess their
daughters, as they would normally cars, houses and other items
purchased on credit with default payments.
Back to Emeka and Ngozi,
they should have been getting married this Christmas (2005), but
have since postponed the date indefinitely for economic reasons.
Emeka is not alone
though, this issue currently affects many young eligible Igbo
men, the women are also not spared because they won’t leave
their parents’ homes until they are well into their late 20s
and 30s, maybe it is time for our elders to re-visit some of our
customs and traditions to see how today’s singletons can be
encouraged, and not discouraged from saying I do. The attached
list below is just an example of a typical traditional marriage
list in Igbo land; the list though may vary from village to
village.
MARRIAGE LIST IN IGBOLAND
1.
Ego maternity---------N1, 000.
2.
Body cream; lux soap; big towel-------1 each
3.
Ego ogo cherem---------N50, 000.
4. Yams-20; Eju (snails)
-20; Okporoko (stockfish) -1; big tray-1
FOR IHE NGWA EFERE
1.
YAMS---------------40PIECES
2.
Okporoko (stockfish) -----2
3.
Ukwu anu ewu (goat leg) ---------2
4.
Morning rose powder-------24
5.
Pomade-----------20
6.
Sugar---------10packets
7.
Ovaltine--------2big size
8.
Bar soap--------1 carton
9.
Tablet soap--------1 carton
10.
Tin milk --------1 carton
11.
Bread----------24 loaves
12.
Salt-----------2 bags
13.
Rice-------1bag
14.
Tomatoes Tin--------1 carton
15.
Red (palm) oil---------1 tin
16.
Groundnut oil----------1 rubber
17.
Kerosene------------1 tin
18.
Maltina Drink---------2 cartons
19.
Soft drink-------6 crates
20.
Onions--------------40 bulbs
21.
Ego ala abo (cash) ------N10, 000
22.
Ego nfotu ite (cash) -------N1, 000.
23.
Big basin----------2
24.
Big umbrella-----2
25.
Piece George--------2
26.
Hollandis--------2
27.
Blouse-------2
28.
Head ties---------2
29.
Wrist watch--------1
30.
Shoes--------2pairs
31.
Big Box--------1
32.
Lamp-------1
33.
Hand bag---------1
34.
Nigerian wax-------1piece
35. Gold necklace and
ear-ring-------1 piece
MARRIAGE LIST FOR UMUADA (ALL KINDRED
DAUGHTERS)
SECTION A------SMALL WINE
1.
8 Kola nuts or cost price
2.
8 Gallons of palm wine or cash equivalent
3.
8 Heads of tobacco with potash
4.
1 Goat for umunna
5.
2 crates of minerals
6.
1 carton of maltina
7.
2 cartons of star beer
8.
1 carton of Guinness small stout
9.
8 packets of Benson and Hedges
10.
2 bottles of Ground snuff
11.
Lump sum (ogwe ego) ---------N2,000
12. 2 bottles of
seaman's schnapps (Millennium Brand)
SECTION B NMANYA
UKWU (BIG WINE)
1.16
Kola nuts or Cash equivalent
2.20
Gallons of palm wine or cash equivalent
3.
2 Crates of minerals
4.
2 Cartons of maltina
5.
2 cartons of Guinness small stout
6.10
cartons of star Beer
7.
One roll of Benson and Hedges
8.12
Heads of Tobacco with potash
9.
4 Bottles of seaman's schnapps (millennium brand)
10.
4 Bottles of Ground Snuff
11.
"Ego Ala Ezi"-----------N1, 500
12. Officers money
-----------N1, 000
SECTION C
OPENING OF GATE
1.
32 Kola nuts or cost price (CP)
2.30
Gallons of palm wine or CP
3.
2 Crates of minerals
4.
2 cartons of maltina
5.
2 cartons of Guinness small stout
6.
10 crates of star beer
7.
2 rolls of Benson and Hedges
8.
32 Heads of tobacco with potash
9.
4 bottles of seaman's schnapps (millennium brand)
10.
"Umunna Ahuna Ego"-------------N1, 500
11.
Toasting of wine (Ncha kishi udu) -------------N1, 000
12.
1 bottle of seaman's schnapps + N500 for Onye Eze (village
chief)
13.
"Ego Umuama" ---------N1, 000
14.
"Ogwe Ego" (Lump sum) --------N1, 500
15.
"Ego mpatu Anya"(Jealousy money) ------N1, 200
16. "Ikpo Onu Aku
Nwanyi" (BRIDE PRICE) --------? (negotiable)
December 23rd 2005
Uche Nworah is freelance writer, lecturer and brand
strategist. He studied communications arts at the
University of Uyo, Nigeria and graduated with a second
class honours degree (upper division). He also holds an
M.Sc degree in marketing from the University of Nigeria,
Enugu campus and obtained his PGCE (post-graduate
certificate in education) from the University of
Greenwich where he is currently enrolled as a doctoral
candidate. His articles have been published by several
websites and leading Nigerian newspapers. He received
the ChickenBones Journalist of the Year award in 2006.
Uche can be contacted through
www.uchenworah.com and
info@uchenworah.com.
http://thelongharmattanseason.blogspot.com/
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Greenback Planet: How the Dollar Conquered
the World and Threatened Civilization as We Know It
By H. W. Brands
In Greenback Planet, acclaimed historian H. W. Brands charts the dollar's astonishing rise to become the world's principal currency. Telling the story with the verve of a novelist, he recounts key episodes in U.S. monetary history, from the Civil War debate over fiat money (greenbacks) to the recent worldwide financial crisis. Brands explores the dollar's changing relations to gold and silver and to other currencies and cogently explains how America's economic might made the dollar the fundamental standard of value in world finance. He vividly describes the 1869 Black Friday attempt to corner the gold market, banker J. P. Morgan's bailout of the U.S. treasury, the creation of the Federal Reserve, and President Franklin Roosevelt's handling of the bank panic of 1933. Brands shows how lessons learned (and not learned) in the Great Depression have influenced subsequent U.S. monetary policy, and how the dollar's dominance helped transform economies in countries ranging from Germany and Japan after World War II to Russia and China today. He concludes with a sobering dissection of the 2008 world financial debacle, which exposed the power--and the enormous risks--of the dollar's worldwide reign. The Economy |
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Sex at the Margins
Migration, Labour Markets and the Rescue Industry
By Laura María Agustín
This book explodes several myths: that selling sex is completely different from any other kind of work, that migrants who sell sex are passive victims and that the multitude of people out to save them are without self-interest. Laura Agustín makes a passionate case against these stereotypes, arguing that the label 'trafficked' does not accurately describe migrants' lives and that the 'rescue industry' serves to disempower them. Based on extensive research amongst both migrants who sell sex and social helpers, Sex at the Margins provides a radically different analysis. Frequently, says Agustin, migrants make rational choices to travel and work in the sex industry, and although they are treated like a marginalised group they form part of the dynamic global economy. Both powerful and controversial, this book is essential reading for all those who want to understand the increasingly important relationship between sex markets, migration and the desire for social justice. "Sex at the Margins rips apart distinctions between migrants, service work and sexual labour and reveals the utter complexity of the contemporary sex industry. This book is set to be a trailblazer in the study of sexuality."—Lisa Adkins, University of London |
* * * * *
The White Masters of the
World
From
The World and Africa, 1965
By W. E. B. Du Bois
W. E. B. Du Bois’
Arraignment and Indictment of White Civilization
(Fletcher)
* *
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Ancient African Nations
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If you like this page consider making a donation
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Negro Digest /
Black World
Browse all issues
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1965
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____ 2005
Enjoy!
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The Death of Emmett Till by Bob Dylan
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The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll
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Only a Pawn in Their Game
Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson Thanks America for
Slavery /
George Jackson /
Hurricane Carter
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The Journal of Negro History issues at Project Gutenberg
The
Haitian Declaration of Independence 1804
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January 1, 1804 -- The Founding of
Haiti
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posted 30 December 2005
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