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Chief Ikoro . . . had no other choice but to marry Nkiru, his wife’s younger sister who was on a visit

to help out around the house with the kids etc, and decided along the way to share in some of

her sister’s (Ngozi) joy.  Chief Ikoro would come back during lunch when his wife would have

already gone to her shop, and would be served lunch and love from Nkiru.

 

 

Some Brothers Do Have 'Em

By Uche Nworah

 

Yes they do have ‘em, I mean all the luck if you are wondering at my drift. And we mortals? We are ‘stuck’ with just one.  Now I don’t want to begrudge a fellow African brother his good fortune, sure he deserves his lucky break. Neither am I contemplating changing my nationality over a trivial matter like this. Sorry to disappoint you Alex but if you are reading this, tough luck; I’m not going to change my mind.

Oho, Alex Kamotho is my Kenyan colleague that I banter with on African matters. He keeps telling me that there are similarities between life in Nigeria and life in Kenya. I have believed him until this email from him popped up on my work email. Now I know why those Kenyan brothers live longer, they love life and seem to have perfected the art of modern polygamy. Now don’t go sulking over your own ‘sorry’ condition, you deserve who you have right now, or don’t you think so? It cannot be that bad after all, remember that appearances deceive or don’t you think that those smiles from the Mathus may be hiding other things? Perhaps the ‘happy couple’ (don’t know if this phrase is right, how do you describe a husband and his two wives, would they still be addressed as  couple, trio or what?) may have just been smiling or posing for the cameras. I am no social scientist to pass an accurate judgment on this but Grandpa Nworah’s story may shed some light here.

Should Grandpa Nze Nworah Okeke have been alive today, perhaps he would have been saying to me, “You see, I told you so; you don’t know what you’re missing.” I suspect also that he may be saying to me, “What did you learn from me? I’m really disappointed that none of you are following my footsteps; you say you want to live long. Didn’t I live long or don’t you know that by being kept busy every other night, I had my mind off other things which cause high blood pressure for your generation? ”  The old boy had two of them, and just as he was getting nearer to his transition he added a third, a much younger one at that. “My old age wife” he called her. I could still recall the several morsels that they all laid out on his dinner table every other night back in the day, most of which were consumed by us (the grand kids) during our nightly storytelling sessions.

The old boy was spoilt for choice and sure did have lots of tales to tell. A jolly good fellow he was too, strong and agile till the last day. He did live to become one of the oldest, if not the oldest in Enugwu-Ukwu before his Chi called him. We placed his age at about 120 years at the time of his passing on. Don’t ask me how we knew. Ask the Nze na Ozors in Enugwu-Ukwu.

In those last days when his eyes became dim, he wasn’t one to give up old habits; he still managed to keep his harem in order. Catch him at his best mood after overdosing on his Nkwu enu and watch him bark out orders, God bless his soul. Perhaps by living up to such an ‘Abrahamic’ age, he may have disproved the ‘no woman, no cry myth’. How he managed it all is still a mystery; perhaps the women in his days were more submissive or perhaps not, go figure. But since him, no one else in the family has attempted the double-portion act, except my father’s younger half-brother, who I may describe as a ‘true son’ of his father. He is at number two at the moment and still counting.

I don’t know how a modern-day Nigerian brother could pull off such a stunt and still come back home to a well-deserved rest and nightly dose of you-know-what.  Not with some of the fiery characters brothers contend with these days, one of whom is Tina (not her real name) who has finally succeeded in sending our friend (Emeka) to his grave so early in life. Emeka is thirty-something and committed suicide in Enugu a few years back.  He couldn’t take all Tina’s heat and wahala anymore. God Bless his poor soul.

The only other time that I have encountered the double–portion story close-up was in my neighbour Chief Ikoro back in Nigeria. But then his was a bit different. He had no other choice but to marry Nkiru, his wife’s younger sister who was on a visit to help out around the house with the kids etc, and decided along the way to share in some of her sister’s (Ngozi) joy.  Chief Ikoro would come back during lunch when his wife would have already gone to her shop, and would be served lunch and love from Nkiru. When Nkiru got pregnant, her family called a meeting and after exploring several options settled on marriage, none of the parties wanted abortion. Nkiru became Chief Ikoro’s wife number two and the family lived ‘happily’ ever after.

Now back to the main gist, what do you make of this modern-day practice of polygamy?  Could any right thinking Nigerian brother in the life of him get away with a stunt like this? Won’t our dear sisters string such a brother on a pole at Wuse market?  Esther and Joyce Mathu, the two beautiful thirty-something year olds caught in this love triangle story with their man, the main object of their desire (Alfred Mathu) claim that they are enjoying it. I hope they are.

I bet our Nigerian sisters would have pushed such a brother to the wolves were they in the ladies’ shoes.  Time to bring back good old traditional African practices then? The story of the Mathus reproduced here is just one of those modern tales that show that in life, concerning ‘luck and fortune’, some brothers do have ‘em, or maybe not.

posted 6 March 2007

Uche Nworah is freelance writer, lecturer and brand strategist. He studied communications arts at the University of Uyo, Nigeria and graduated with a second class honours degree (upper division). He also holds an M.Sc degree in marketing from the University of Nigeria, Enugu campus and obtained his PGCE (post-graduate certificate in education) from the University of Greenwich where he is currently enrolled as a doctoral candidate. His articles have been published by several websites and leading Nigerian newspapers. He received the ChickenBones Journalist of the Year award in 2006. Uche can be contacted through www.uchenworah.com and info@uchenworah.com.

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AALBC.com's 25 Best Selling Books


 

Fiction

#1 - Justify My Thug by Wahida Clark
#2 - Flyy Girl by Omar Tyree
#3 - Head Bangers: An APF Sexcapade by Zane
#4 - Life Is Short But Wide by J. California Cooper
#5 - Stackin' Paper 2 Genesis' Payback by Joy King
#6 - Thug Lovin' (Thug 4) by Wahida Clark
#7 - When I Get Where I'm Going by Cheryl Robinson
#8 - Casting the First Stone by Kimberla Lawson Roby
#9 - The Sex Chronicles: Shattering the Myth by Zane

#10 - Covenant: A Thriller  by Brandon Massey

#11 - Diary Of A Street Diva  by Ashley and JaQuavis

#12 - Don't Ever Tell  by Brandon Massey

#13 - For colored girls who have considered suicide  by Ntozake Shange

#14 - For the Love of Money : A Novel by Omar Tyree

#15 - Homemade Loves  by J. California Cooper

#16 - The Future Has a Past: Stories by J. California Cooper

#17 - Player Haters by Carl Weber

#18 - Purple Panties: An Eroticanoir.com Anthology by Sidney Molare

#19 - Stackin' Paper by Joy King

#20 - Children of the Street: An Inspector Darko Dawson Mystery by Kwei Quartey

#21 - The Upper Room by Mary Monroe

#22 – Thug Matrimony  by Wahida Clark

#23 - Thugs And The Women Who Love Them by Wahida Clark

#24 - Married Men by Carl Weber

#25 - I Dreamt I Was in Heaven - The Rampage of the Rufus Buck Gang by Leonce Gaiter

Non-fiction

#1 - Malcolm X: A Life of Reinvention by Manning Marable
#2 - Confessions of a Video Vixen by Karrine Steffans
#3 - Dear G-Spot: Straight Talk About Sex and Love by Zane
#4 - Letters to a Young Brother: MANifest Your Destiny by Hill Harper
#5 - Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You're Going Through by Iyanla Vanzant
#6 - Selected Writings and Speeches of Marcus Garvey by Marcus Garvey
#7 - The Ebony Cookbook: A Date with a Dish by Freda DeKnight
#8 - The Isis Papers: The Keys to the Colors by Frances Cress Welsing
#9 - The Mis-Education of the Negro by Carter Godwin Woodson

#10 - John Henrik Clarke and the Power of Africana History  by Ahati N. N. Toure

#11 - Fail Up: 20 Lessons on Building Success from Failure by Tavis Smiley

#12 -The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander

#13 - The Black Male Handbook: A Blueprint for Life by Kevin Powell

#14 - The Other Wes Moore: One Name, Two Fates by Wes Moore

#15 - Why Men Fear Marriage: The Surprising Truth Behind Why So Many Men Can't Commit  by RM Johnson

#16 - Black Titan: A.G. Gaston and the Making of a Black American Millionaire by Carol Jenkins

#17 - Brainwashed: Challenging the Myth of Black Inferiority by Tom Burrell

#18 - A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle

#19 - John Oliver Killens: A Life of Black Literary Activism by Keith Gilyard

#20 - Alain L. Locke: The Biography of a Philosopher by Leonard Harris

#21 - Age Ain't Nothing but a Number: Black Women Explore Midlife by Carleen Brice

#22 - 2012 Guide to Literary Agents by Chuck Sambuchino
#23 - Chicken Soup for the Prisoner's Soul by Tom Lagana
#24 - 101 Things Every Boy/Young Man of Color Should Know by LaMarr Darnell Shields

#25 - Beyond the Black Lady: Sexuality and the New African American Middle Class  by Lisa B. Thompson

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Sex at the Margins

Migration, Labour Markets and the Rescue Industry

By Laura María Agustín

This book explodes several myths: that selling sex is completely different from any other kind of work, that migrants who sell sex are passive victims and that the multitude of people out to save them are without self-interest. Laura Agustín makes a passionate case against these stereotypes, arguing that the label 'trafficked' does not accurately describe migrants' lives and that the 'rescue industry' serves to disempower them. Based on extensive research amongst both migrants who sell sex and social helpers, Sex at the Margins provides a radically different analysis. Frequently, says Agustin, migrants make rational choices to travel and work in the sex industry, and although they are treated like a marginalised group they form part of the dynamic global economy. Both powerful and controversial, this book is essential reading for all those who want to understand the increasingly important relationship between sex markets, migration and the desire for social justice. "Sex at the Margins rips apart distinctions between migrants, service work and sexual labour and reveals the utter complexity of the contemporary sex industry. This book is set to be a trailblazer in the study of sexuality."—Lisa Adkins, University of London

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Sister Citizen: Shame, Stereotypes, and Black Women in America

By Melissa V. Harris-Perry

According to the author, this society has historically exerted considerable pressure on black females to fit into one of a handful of stereotypes, primarily, the Mammy, the Matriarch or the Jezebel.  The selfless Mammy’s behavior is marked by a slavish devotion to white folks’ domestic concerns, often at the expense of those of her own family’s needs. By contrast, the relatively-hedonistic Jezebel is a sexually-insatiable temptress. And the Matriarch is generally thought of as an emasculating figure who denigrates black men, ala the characters Sapphire and Aunt Esther on the television shows Amos and Andy and Sanford and Son, respectively.     

Professor Perry points out how the propagation of these harmful myths have served the mainstream culture well. For instance, the Mammy suggests that it is almost second nature for black females to feel a maternal instinct towards Caucasian babies.

As for the source of the Jezebel, black women had no control over their own bodies during slavery given that they were being auctioned off and bred to maximize profits. Nonetheless, it was in the interest of plantation owners to propagate the lie that sisters were sluts inclined to mate indiscriminately.

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The White Masters of the World

From The World and Africa, 1965

By W. E. B. Du Bois

W. E. B. Du Bois’ Arraignment and Indictment of White Civilization (Fletcher)

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Ancient African Nations

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The Death of Emmett Till by Bob Dylan  The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll  Only a Pawn in Their Game

Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson Thanks America for Slavery / George Jackson  / Hurricane Carter

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The Journal of Negro History issues at Project Gutenberg

The Haitian Declaration of Independence 1804  / January 1, 1804 -- The Founding of Haiti 

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update 28 February 2012

 

 

 

Home  Uche Nworah Table   Love, Sex, and Erotica

Related files:   Black Brothers And Their White Chics   A Rejoinder To Black Brothers And Their White Chics   Feminism in Africa     Some Brothers Do Have 'Em   Women We Hate 

 Equality in African Relationships  Negro Psychosexuality  Exploring Sexuality from a Black Perspective  Contemporary African Women Struggle With Love